LOST is a little old show that began back in 2004 and ran for six glorious seasons. Six seasons filled with mystery, adventure, romance, and most of all, confusion. Once the show ended, everyone was quite literally “lost.” Lost in the sense that they had no idea what had just happened, and lost in the sense that they had no ideas what to do with their lives now that the show was over.
I didn’t hop on the LOST bandwagon until a few months ago, when I finally decided to check it off my “TV Shows To-Watch” list. Two months of the roller coaster (or should I say doomed airplane) that is LOST later, and I’m sitting here a tried and true, dedicated, albeit slightly confused, LOST fan.
For posterity, I wrote down the thoughts I had while watching the Pilot episodes. Here they are.
Episode 1: “Pilot (Part 1)”
- This disheveled yet attractive man in the business suit is taking charge.
- Seriously, he just saved three people’s lives in the space of two minutes.
- Now’s not the time for sass, Jack. Although I’m sure Pretty Boy With the Eyebrows deserved it.
Pretty Boy: “I’m a lifeguard, I’m licensed.
Jack: “Yeah, well you need to seriously think about giving that license back.”
- “Yeah, good idea. You go get me a pen.” More sass from Jack. I’m hoping this sass-master trend continues.
- Pretty Boy did NOT just actually come back with a selection of pens in a variety of colors.
- Um, making drapes is not the same as suturing a human wound, Jack.
- So, not only is Jack a handsome businessman with a penchant for taking charge, but he’s a doctor, a philosopher, and has a single tear rolling down his cheek?!
- Oh, so blonde girl is living up to her stereotype. “As if I’m going to start eating chocolate.” Girl, you do not ever refuse chocolate given to you by an attractive male, especially when you’re on a deserted island. I don’t care if you’re trying to prove a point.
- OKAY. WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT A FREAKING DINOSAUR IN THE JUNGLE? I HEARD IT ROAR – (OR WHATEVER YOU CALL A DINOSAUR SOUND).
- Does the whole “pretty and overly-friendly flight attendant flirting with a man dressed in a business suit” happen as often as TV and movies would lead us to believe?
- Remind me to never get on an airplane ever again.
- Old guy with the orange peel in his mouth, NO.Stop.
- Creepy Brit with the hoodie is looking real suspicious going back into that airplane bathroom. Just what is it that you’re doing in there, mate?
- IT IS A DINOSAUR. THAT DINOSAUR JUST KILLED THE PILOT JURASSIC PARK STYLE.
Episode 2: “Pilot (Part 2)”
- Why are you running away from the flight attendants, Creepy Brit? There isn’t really a PLACE TO HIDE ON AN AIRPLANE 30,000 FEET IN THE AIR.
- Everyone knows you can’t use a bathroom outside of your cabin. Creepy Brit with the hoodie is out of line.
- How did he get those drugs on the plane? Oh, wait. This was 2004.
- Seriously? Blonde Girl is tanning right now? Your plane just crashed and you’re worried about getting that sun-kissed glow?
- Oh, they’re siblings. And his name is Boone? You can’t tell me his mother gave him that name.
- Pregnant girl looks like she’s about to POP.
- This Korean guy cannot be serious right now. There are not enough buttons for the amount of buttoning up he wants her to do.
- The dog’s name is Vincent? Vincent? Is this dog a middle-aged action hero? Vincent.
- Testosterone levels are so high right now between the Middle Eastern Man and the Redneck.
- Cue the dramatic “we’re -climbing-up-a-mountain music.”
- This little boy is having a “bad month”? Understatement of the year! Mom dies, plane crashes, dog runs away. That’s a little more than a “bad month” if you ask me.
- Is this old man with the Scar-from-Lion-King-scar speaking in riddles now?
- Should this man be around children?
- Pregnant ladies aren’t supposed to eat raw fish, Korean man!
- But it’s okay because the raw fish made the baby kick.
- OKAY, WHAT IS THAT? THAT IS NOT A DINOSAUR.
- IT’S A POLAR BEAR?! REDNECK JUST SHOT A FREAKING POLAR BEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF A TROPICAL ISLAND JUNGLE?!
- What is going on on this island exactly?
- Okay, so this Redneck is pretty sexy, though.
- Ahhh, so Kate was the one in handcuffs.
- This French transmission is creepy as hell. 16 YEARS?!
- “Guys, where are we?” is right.